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Archive for the ‘Stories Written By Me, JFB’ Category

A Story

Here is the story that I gave to Stephanie for her birthday. It is called:

The Fish Who Could Talk

All fish can swim, but only one can talk. One day, the one that could thought to himself, “By Jove, I can talk!” And so he could, of course, and he said, “Spit Spot, what what, and all that sort of thing!”

And then he said, “Imagine, a great whale like you, talking and laughing and such good sport! How ripping!” And the whale smiled, a large one, all full of bristles and some seaweed from earlier.

And then, he tried to laugh, but couldn’t. A great hiss of froth streamed out, but that was all.

“Alas!” He cried, “Unable to laugh! Never to hear the sweet chime of my own laughter go forth from these lips, if, indeed, they can be called as such. Well, well,” he said dolefully, “So I shall have to do with only the spoils mere words can offer me.”

But, he wasn’t much upset, and he was off again with one flap of his enormous flippery tail.

“And so,” he yelled to a shimmering fish, “I, this enormous whale, shall set off, thanks to just one sweep of this rather convenient rear facing rudder. I shall travel far, also wide, but I know I shall find Adventure!”

Then, he did set off, at great speeds.

“To the reef!” He cried, and went there.

The whale, when he had arrived at the reef, saw hundreds of little fish milling about and swishing their tails show-offishly.

“Haha!” Said the whale, “I shall escort the small ones, that’s what I’ll do, and tell them about everything and everywhere!”

And so, for a time, the whale led the young fish round the reef and said things like,

“The reds are alright, you know, but do watch for the blues, your apt to choke, and the greens are awful for the digestion.”

And, “Oh those yellow things are just little sillies, ignore them. Those great silvers with all the teeth and fins and other ridiculous notions, they’re perfectly horrid. Just give them a good growl and they’ll swim away like ninnies!”

The whale did this for a while, but then he said, “No, I’ve grown bored! I’ll absolutely have to venture elsewhere!”

So, he went off again, and this time he made for the Caribbean.

“To seek my fortune and fate.” the whale said, “And also destiny.”

The whale swam for three months until he reached the Caribbean.

“Spain, Portugal!” he cried, “I could spout for excitement!”

So he did.

The whale explored. He didn’t find any shipwrecks or Atlantis, which puzzled him.

One day, as the whale swam about, he looked up through the sunny waters and saw a ship!

So, he swam up and up and up, until he burst through the water in a shower and lashed and slapped his tail around impressively.

The men on the ship were impressed, but only for a moment, because they were pirates, and were chasing after a merchants schooner.

“Pirates!” cried the whale when he saw the flag, “How dashing! Speeding over the crystal waters with chests of glittering baubles and countless treasures in your hull. I shall become a pirate!”

The pirate captain look up. He had heard what the whale said.

“Hey, you great whalloper!” He shouted at the whale, “If you’ll lend us your speed, I’ll dig you in for a share of the profits! Sparkling coins, dazzling trinkets, and many a fine piece of cloth,” and he showed of his own waistcoat and pantaloons, which his bo’sun had just mended.

The whale said, “Shall I still be a respectful subject to the Queen?”

“No!” shouted the pirate captain, “You’ll have to swear, “Down with the Queen!””

The whale frowned as he thought about this.

“Am I allowed a farewell gesture to the Queen?”

“Fine!” stumped the pirate captain.

The whale said, “Rule Brittania!” and the captain plugged his ears.

“Enough!” he cried, “Now, nose us over to yon skiff and you’ll have a quarter of the takings!”

The whale put his head against the hull of the ship, which was leaky, and with one great sweep of his tail fin, rushed the pirate ships across the waves to where the merchant schooner sat.

He heard the pirate captain yell, “Haha!” and, “Fire Long Tom!”

There was a long battle, which the whale could only hear from his vantage pint.

The blades went, “Snicker Snack,” and the cannon went, “Peh Pow!” and the pirate grew said, “Hurrah!” and galumphed over to the merchant vessel. And then the whale heard them tallying up how much everyone got, and how many each had killed, and finally, the pirate captain remembered the whale.

“Much obliged, great fish!” he yelled over the side of the ship, and twitched his black beard, so the whale knew they were friends.

Then, a glittering curtain of jewels and coins fell down on the whale, and over his back, dancing on the waves. A huge roll of brilliant red cloth fell down also, which the whale later fashioned into a snug hat.

The whale smiled and swam away with his treasure.

And so, the whale roamed the high seas, helping pirates in exchange for treasure and playing fast and loose with the sponge market, forever after. Or at least until he got bored. He was the only talking fish in all the Caribbean, or any waters.

The End

I hope it was good! So far there have only been favorable reviews.

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